As a child, I thought the worst of my Grandma. In my teens, I thought the world of my Grandma. It wasn’t that Grandma had really changed… it was that I was exposed to things and learned some behind-the-scenes things as I got older that helped me realize how dope Grandma was.
I was raised by my Mom and maternal Grandma (my Mom’s Mom). I remember being a kid and not really liking my Grandma a whole lot… for a few reasons:
(1) Grandma used to force my siblings and me to go to Church. Even though sometimes Mom would want to cater to our complaints and let us stay home... Grandma said, "As long as yall are in MY house, yall are comin to Church." Grandma even made me join the Junior Usher team. Because of my character to do things excellently, even though I didn't really want to do it, I still served very well on the team. But, I was super eager to get home and take off my oversized, hand-me-down, uncomfortable black suit and ridiculous cummerbund.
(2) Grandma never gave me any money! Any time we would visit Grandpa, he would give me change from a piggy bank, or $1 bill, or a $2 bill. One time, Grandpa gave me $5 for my 5-year-old Birthday. I was sooo happy! And when we visited my paternal Grandma, she would give me a few bucks too! But nope... not the Grandma I lived with. She always cried broke, and adamantly attempted to convince Mom not to give me any money and not to buy things like toys and fast food. I remember thinking to myself, "Why do you (Grandma) hate me? Why won't you let me get that bike without putting up a fight with my Mom?"
(3) Grandma made me eat black eyed peas every New Year’s Eve. And each year, she added another tablespoon to the required consumption amount. Ewww. They were the yuckiest food ever!! To this day... I have no idea why black eyed peas were/are a tradition!! And I still find them incredibly unyummy!
(4) Grandma spanked me a lot. I wasn't the most mischievous child, but there were times when I broke the rules. And Grandma didn't play that. Mom spanked me, too... but pretty much because Grandma "taught" her to. I could sometimes get over on Ma. But Grandma... NOPE! Grandma used to point at a spot on the floor and say "Cross this (imaginary) line!"... and as soon as I would step foot forward, it was a beating! And if I didn't step forward, she would have beaten me even worse! It didn't matter what was in her hand... her shoe, her slipper, her bare hand, the paddle, a tree branch thingy... she spanked me with all of em. I can still hear her voice: "Turn your hind parts around and pull them pants down!"
So for all ^those^ reasons… as a kid (from maybe 4 til 11-ish)… I had always thought Grandma was rude, mean, selfish, and ran the house like a dictator. When I got to Junior High, I started to notice certain things and I asked questions to my Mom... like "Why does the electricity and water cut off sometimes?" And "Why do you and Grandma fuss sometimes?" All I got from Mom was to mind my business. But Grandma started to let me in on some secrets and explained some financial concepts to me… like fixed retirement income, Welfare, bills, etc. I began to understand that the new Super Nintendo and all those games (that Grandma was against) might be the reason we didn’t have power in the house for 4 days.
At 14… Mom, my Siblings, and I moved out of Grandma’s house and into a house with my Dad. For the two years that we tried things out with Dad, I would walk (or ride a bike) to Grandma’s house every weekend during school years and every day during the summers. My Grandma and I became inseparably super tight!
By the time I was 16… we moved back into Grandma’s house, but Grandma moved into a Senior Living Apartment. This was about 3 miles away. And still… I walked, rode a bike, or drove (when I had a working car) to see Grandma during the summer while I was in High School. Our bond continued to grow stronger as the next few years went by.
Late 2003. I was 19. Grandma started to became really sick. She was in an out of the hospital a little more than usual. So, we knew that it was unlikely that she was gonna be around for another 20 years. At the time, I had an 8y/o Sibling and two 7y/o Siblings. During one of my visits at my Grandmother’s home, she said to me: “Baby, I’m not gonna be here to see your little Brothers and Sister grow up. Promise me that you’re gonna help your Mother look after them.”
December 2005. I was 21. I graduated from a technical college and earned an Associate’s Degree and made Dean’s List throughout my school tenure. Grandma was the first stop I made when I received my certificate of completion…. I drove straight to her place!... I didn’t even call any of my Friends or other Family members. Grandma was the first person to know I had graduated.
January 2006. Grandma was admitted in the Hospital, where she would remain until God called her home a few months later. So, the Family would visit as often as we could, but we knew her time was getting shorter and shorter. One visit, Grandma said to me: “Baby, I’m so proud of you. YOU are gonna lead your Family. I’m so happy I was able to see the Man you’re growing up to be. I saw you graduate from college. You have a dynamite job. You’re not out here running around in these streets. I was there when you accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior. You were able to forgive your Father (for not being around growing up). You have made me so happy and so proud. I know you are going to do well. I know God has Good plans for you. Remember… take care of your Siblings. Take care of your Mom. YOU are the one that’s gonna be able to do it. I’m ready to go now.”
My Grandma passed away quietly in the Hospital on March 15, 2006, just weeks after she told me she was “ready to go now”. I can’t put into words the emotions I felt. And I can’t count the tears. But, Joy came when I was reminded that her time here was temporary… that her Earthly body was a loan to us, and that God would need her back. My Grandmother was a devout Christian and always talked about her Faith and encouraged others to seek God and put Him first. I do believe that some of God’s Blessings that I have personally received were answers to/results of Grandma’s prayers. When she died, she was 70 years, 10 months, and 28 days old. The Bible doesn’t necessarily say that God promises 70 years on Earth… but Psalm 90:10 suggests that our days are limited and the Psalmist just so happened to specify 70 years as an arbitrary limit.
I praise God that I was able to become so close with my Grandmother, after having ill thoughts about her as a kid. I praise God that Grandma was a faithful servant of His, which gives me the confidence to know that she is in Heaven. I praise God for the life of Beulah Mae Minott.