ONE TIME, I GOT TRICKED INTO LOOKING FOR DUDES' PENISES. Here's what happened...

Me, my homeboy, and two girls were at my apt playin cards. We had a football game on the TV. One of the girls said "All those players' pants are so tight. But I dont see no bulge. Do they cut off their penises in order to play?"

I was liike... "Nah, they wear protective cups so that they dont get hurt down there during the game."

She said... "I dont see no cups. Just missing penises."

So I walked to the TV (mind you, it's a 73" TV), and said "Look!", and I started pointing at a player's crotch, and tellin her to look closely and you can see that there is a cup bcuz of the slope where the pants come in at the pelvis line. I paused the channel. Then switched to ZOOM on the screen display. Like... I was seriously tryna convince her that the shape in the crease of the pants and how you can tell he was wearin a cup.

Then my homeboy got too fed up, and slammed his beer down on the table and shouted "Jayé, what the heck are you doin!" (He didnt say "heck" btw. What he said started with an "f"). He was like "Why are you all up on the screen pointing at men's dingalings. Bruh, if she ont see the cups, then she ont see the cups. You dont need to be a TV football crotch expert."

They all busted out laughin at me. I was so embarrassed. Although by mistake, the girl got me. I was stuck in place, finger still on the crotch, not laughin with them, but just thinking on what to do next...
1. Join them in laughter and continue having fun
2. Kill the girls, hide their bodies, and make a pact with my homeboy never to tell anyone about that
3. Kill the girls and my homeboy and hide all of their bodies
4. Wait 10 years and share the story on Facebook
(I went with options 1 & 4.)