Confession Friday (Dad's $)

#ConfessionFriday

When my Dad became disabled in 2010, I became his caretaker and fiduciary. And as his fiduciary, I have taken thousands and thousands of Dad’s dollars to use for --+)(*&^%$#@!~\|]}[{:;”’<,>./?

<< We’re sorry, but the above message was interrupted by Jayé’s “Don’t-Say-That Conscience Monitor”. Jayé will not be allowed to finish today’s Confession Friday. You all can Carry On! Oh, and if anyone asks… YES, Jayé has been completely, unquestionably, and perfectly responsible with his Father’s financial matters. That is all.>>

Confession Friday (Girl Bye)

#ConfessionFriday

I once kicked a girl out of my car... in broad daylight... in front of a whole bunch of people... because she hurt my feelings earlier that day.

It was high school. I repeat.... HIGH SCHOOL. There was this girl I used to flirt with all the time... let's call her "Jane". She playfully flirted back but always rejected me (politely) every time I suggested that we hook up outside of school. Even though she told me NO, we were still cool; We continued to chill during lunch time and I even took her home a few times after school.

In the Spring time, almost every day, I started leaving school during lunch and going to a nearby fast food joint instead of hanging in the cafeteria. After a while, Jane caught on and asked if she could ride with me. That went on for several weeks. Just me and Jane... me still flirting for realzies, and Jane still flirting back for playzies. One day, a homie asked me if he and his friend could ride with me and Jane at lunch so they could smoke. I agreed.

As far as I could tell, Homie and Jane knew who each other were, but they didnt know each other 'like that'. And neither me nor Jane knew Homie's friend. We got our food and went to some nearby apartments. I didnt smoke, but the rest of them did. Once done, Jane said to Homie and Friend, "I got some 'revealing' pics of myself... yall wanna see em?" And of course they said YES and she passed em to them in the back seat. While they were looking, I drove back toward the school. They wowwwed and wowwwed and all that and passed the pics back up to her. She then put them back in her purse. I was like "Yo hold up... I wanna see the pics!?" She was like "Nah you dont get to see em." I thought she was joking so I asked again. And she said NO again with a tone of like "How dare YOU ask me?"... as if I was a lame, corny type dude. And I couldnt accept that. I was super upset that she seriously had just showed those random dudes her pics and she knew I had been trying to get at her for a while now. If she showed them when they went to smoke, or in school when I wasnt around... I wouldnt have had an issue. But for her to do that RIGHT IN MY FACE!!!... Oh, that was super disrespectful (in my mind)! So, I said something along the lines of "Ok, Jane. You will never ride with me for lunch again, and I'll never take you home again! Dont ask me for a ride anywhere at any time for any reason." She was like 'whatever' and we got out the car and went back inside the school.

At the end of the school day, I walked outside and headed to my car. Jane came running out the door screaming "Jaye wait up! I need you to take me home." I was like "Uh, didnt we talk about this? NO, Im not taking you home. We're done." She said "Boy stop playing. I ont wanna ride the bus... that takes too long." And she continued to follow me. So I said "I dont care! Im not taking you home. Now go back before your bus leaves." Jane still followed me and when I got to my car and unlocked the doors, she hopped in the passenger seat. I asked her (and demanded) a few more times to get out. She refused to get out and explained that she lived 1 minute away from me so it wasnt a big deal. She even offered to show me her pictures. But I was like "NOPE. I ont wanna see them now. It's too late. Now get out." She still didnt get out. So I started the car and pulled off. At the student parking exit, I turned LEFT, which was the opposite way of where we needed to go to get home. Jane was like "Where are you going?". I was like "You'll see." And I circled back to the front of the school where parents come to pick up their kids. There were tons of students still exiting the building. I stopped the car dead center in front of the school, hopped out, walked around to the passenger door, opened it, and yelled as loudly as I could "Get out of my car! Im not taking you home! Go beg someone else or go catch your bus before you miss it!" She got out the car, almost crying, covering her face, and ran back into the school. Some of the students outside laughed. Some had the shock face. Some gave me head nods. Some had the that's-messed-up face. All I knew was that I wasnt taking her home.

*Jane and I didnt speak after that day. We saw each other in school, but we had no words. I honestly dont even remember her real name. We very well may be Facebook friends. So Jane... if you are reading this... I just want to say.... It was high school, I was young, immature, embarrassed, my feelings were hurt, and nan-nanny-boo-boo! That's what you get! And I hope I brought back that memory.

**EDIT: Now that I think about it... out of spite, I should have...
1) let her show me the pics but still kick her out
2) brought my fast food back into the school every day after that and ate it in the cafeteria where she could see me.

Confession Friday (Highway Litter)

#ConfessionFriday

A cop caught me littering in the most 'red-handed' way possible... because Im a big, fat, stupid head!

My Sister and I were traveling up 95North... I was driving. We had been on the road for a while and we had eaten a bunch of snacks; cookies, potato chips, juices, sodas... and so we had all these empty wrappers/containers in my car. My young, dumb self came up with a bright idea to go ahead and clean my car out... by tossing all that stuff (plus note paper and whatever other trash) out the window.

So... while going highway speed (so.... like 65mph or so), in the right lane, jamming to the music and having fun... I rolled down the passenger window and tossed a couple things past my Sister. NOTE: My Sister has always super hated littering and she was sooo upset with me and wanted me to stop. But I didnt. However, I stopped throwing things out of her window. I rolled down my window and stretched my left hand out and tossed items across the top of my vehicle so they could still land on the right side of the road (grassy area). After maybe 10 total items had been tossed... I saw the blue & red flashing lights turn on from the car immediately behind me! (I have no idea how I missed that a cop was driving behind me. Guess I was too caught up in being an idiot.)

I pulled over. My Sister immediately gave me the "that's what you get", "nan-nanny-boo-boo" ridicule; she had no pity or empathy for me. Cop came to my window and was like "Hey man. What the <bleep> are you doing!?" and then he started laughing hysterically... (I guess out of pure shock and curiosity). I told him that I didnt have any reasonable explanation for littering. Cop said he was behind me for almost a mile before he stopped me. Because he was originally gonna stop me sooner, for the first piece of litter... but when he noticed that I kept throwing things out, he waited to see what else I was doing. And finally, he had enough.

Cop told me to get out the car and go pick up litter from the ground and put it back in my car. At first I said "Eww, NO!". Then Cop said to avoid thousands of dollars of fines (because it was a whole lot of litter), I better get out and go clean up. So, I got out. I asked the Cop if he had gloves or a bag and he was like "Did you have gloves or a bag when you tossed stuff out?" *Touché, Cop... touché.* So I had to pick up a bunch of items with my bare hands and sit them in my car. NOTE: he had me pick up all the trash in the vicinity of where we were stopped, which included other people's litter, but he didnt make me go back a mile to get everything I specifically threw out. Cop watched me for nearly 15 minutes putting random, loose litter trash into my vehicle. And finally he said "Good enough" and let us go. I def got off the highway somewhere and emptied that stuff into a garbage receptacle (@ 7-11 or Burger King... something like that).

In hindsight, I really appreciate the Officer... because while it was 'dirty', it was better than having to pay those fines... or coming to court to try to fight it, especially since it happened in North Carolina and I lived in Richmond VA, and I still could have lost and had to pay fines anyway. BUT... after that... I COMPLETELY STOPPED LITTERING!!! (Big things, I mean. I further confess that I may still toss a gum wrapper or straw wrapper out. But nothing else)

Confession Friday (Pacifier)

BabyJaye_Paci

#ConfessionFriday

I was sucking on a pacifier until I was 4 years old.

And Im not talkin a regular, cutesy little paci. Im talking about the big, fat, brown, rubber jank! And this wasnt a story that had to be told to me. I genuinely remember Mommy taking it away on my first day of Headstart <shouts out to Bellemeade Elementary>. I remember so well because I cried for a long time, which normally would have gotten me my paci back. However, I guess Mommy finally had enough and was sticking to her guns this time because she didnt let up! I was so sad. To make up for it... Mommy got me a new #TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) action figure set that had just come out. <shouts out to Raphael.>

Confession Friday (Gay Club)

#ConfessionFriday

One time, I went to a gay night club... ALONE!

It was a Friday night. Friends didnt wanna party that night, but I did! And so... I went out by myself... to a club I had been to a thousand times. I was standing in line behind three dudes. These dudes looked like the stereotypical thug/gangsta type; bandanas, du-rags, ball caps, baggy clothes, cornrows, tattoos, chains with the Jesus piece, black & mild over the ear, gold grills, gucci belt... the whole 9! I heard them speaking and they sounded like how a group of hetero men would typically sound. **SIDEBAR: Before yall get crazy on me... Yall know how some gay dudes have recognizably gay voices/voice patterns/vernacular/cadence/etc.... These guys didnt speak like that. Their voices sounded like how I would talk with my homies.** Anyhoo... Girls were in line too. I was making mental notes of the chicks I was gonna dance with. So far... there was no sign that this was "gay night" at that club. But then I walked inside!...

First thing I did when I walked in was hit the bar. I ordered my #Budweiser and headed toward the stairs, bcuz the main dance floor was on the top level. The 3 guys that were in front of me in line outside were walking up the steps already. Then, all of a sudden... 1 of the dudes grabbed the other dude's hand. Then they locked their fingers together and continued walking up the steps. I paused on the steps... and I looked at my beer to make sure it said Budweiser on the label. I also looked inside the bottle to make sure I didnt see anything extra floating in the liquid. I wanted to make sure I wasnt drugged and I wasnt tripping. Then I saw some foxy ladies coming down the steps. So I regained confidence that this was the place to be... and it was just those two dudes who were together. But then I made it upstairs!....

When I got to the dance floor area, I did a quick survey of the room. I noticed like 6 Boy/Girl couples who were all hugged up and boo-loving on each other. Then I noticed a bunch of Boy/Boy couples and a lot of the flamboyantly gay dudes. To myself... I was like "What in the world is going on here?! Tonight is Friday! Gay night is Saturday!" And as I was thinking to myself... a dude came up to me and hit me with "Hey... are you by yourself?" I said "Yea, but I think I may be in the wrong place." And he said "Maybe. Maybe not. Stick around... you might have some fun." And then he walked away. I looked back around the room -- this time, a little more carefully -- and noticed that the Boy/Girl couples WERE NOT Boy/Girl couples!! They were Girl/Girl couples! But in each of the couples... one of the girls looked like a dude. At quick glance... you wouldnt be able to tell they were girls. So once I noticed that... it sealed the deal that this was definitely "gay night". I went back downstairs... finished my beers at the bar... then went straight home. I didnt even try to get my "dance" fix in by going to another club.

**FYI (mainly for RVA folks)... I cant remember the name of the Club. It used to be The Boss. But then it changed a couple times I believe. I think the last name I recall was "Club 534" maybe. And now it's called "Club Mansion" I think. But... whatever the main club's name was/is... the gay night was always called "Club Colours"... and it was supposed to only be on Saturdays. This happened somewhere between 2004-2007.

Confession Friday (Cornrows)

#ConfessionFriday

I GREW CORNROWS TO HIDE MY HAIRLINE RECESSION. Here's the story...

My hairline started to noticeably recede when I was 11... in the sixth grade. But my waves were poppin in middle school and it didn't look bad. By the end of 9th grade, my hairline was pretty far back. So, I decided to grow my hair (as mmuuuucchhh as I could) during my last couple months in 9th grade and over the summer... and at some point in the beginning of my sophomore year... BOOM!... I grew enough hair to get cornrows!

My idea was that cornrows would have a better presentation for my hairline than the waves. So, my first style was straight back. That was a very stupid look... because the rows on top would start at the top of my forehead, which is good, but the rows on the side would be like 3 inches back... like someone indented my cornrows. Like... looking at me from the side... it looked like my braids were in outline format (Body > First Point >> Suppot Point). So then for a while I let my braider do different designs, thinking that they would look sweet even with the jacked up hairline. I was happy for a while. Then I got a new idea... do a part in middle of my head and braid the corn rows from the top down over the left and right sides of my head! That way... you couldn't tell my hairline was receding because the cornrows came down the sides and you couldn't see the bald areas!

So okay... almost a year in with cornrows. My best friend had a short haircut. He decided he wanted cornrows. So he started to grow his hair. After only maybe 2 months (if that long), he had enough hair to get it cornrowed. Cool. 4 months later, his cornrow hangtime was at the bottom of his neck. I checked where my braids ended... STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF MY NECK!!! So I was like... "Yo wait a sec... I've had cornrows for a year and change and my length is still in the middle of my neck... whereas my homie grew his hair for 6 months and his hair already passed me!!!". I was livid about my genetic heritage! I immediately took my braids out and rocked an afro. Nope... that didn't help! I did the fro for about two months before I got fed up... or I guess I should say... before I got smart... and then I cut all my hair off! (That should have been done... probably in the 9th grade!)

*FunFact1: One time, my stylist convinced me that weave would help my hair grow faster, so I let her do it. In one day, my cornrows went from the top of my neck to past my shoulders. It was maybe like an extra 5 inches of length. Oh, and she put wooden beads on the end of them, saying that it would help people to not realize the tips were extensions. I had to keep them in for nearly a month. That was so stupid! Don't worry, I 've destroyed all the pictures.

*FunFact2: Sometimes, maybe a lot of times... When I didn't have my hair cornrowed, instead of the afro... I would have my Mom (or my Sister) take a hot comb to my hair and straighten it out. I would then take a rubberband and rock a ponytail or I'd have my Mom (or Sis) do 2 pigtails.

*FunFact3: Despite how ridiculous all of that sounds... I was still macking girls! Shut up!

Confession Friday (Bop Punch)

#ConfessionFriday

I ran away from a fight because dude bopped me on my head and I aint know what to do!

Ok. I was 11. Homie was like 14. He was definitely bigger than me!. We were at the basketball court, which is where I knew him from. After some games, I noticed my bike wasn't parked where I left it. So I stopped playing and looked around for it. It was nowhere! So, I was like... dang, somebody stole my bike. So, I checked the boy's bathroom. No bike. Then something told me to check the girl's bathroom. Lo and behold, I could see my bike tires under the door in the stall. Apparently, someone tried to hide it in there. I didn't know who did it or if the person was still at the court, because I didn't know how long it had been in there. So, I grab it and walk out with it. As soon as I get outside the bathroom and back onto the blacktop, Homie starts running toward me and yelling "Yo put MY bike back."

I genuinely thought he was joking.... because I've balled with this guy before. So I thought it was like a prank. So I said "Naw yo. This my bike."

He got over to me and grabbed the bike and jerked it toward himself, and said "Nah, I'm taking this bike. It's mine."

I started to realize he was serious. So I pulled the bike back toward myself and demanded him to let go. So we pulled the bike back & forth a couple times and now I'm heated, cuz Homie is really trying to debo my bike from me. So I let go of the bike and pushed him as hard as I could. He barely moved. (Remember, he was a lot bigger than me).

<SIDEBAR: At this point of my life, fighting was not new to me. I had been in several fights. I was ready for this, so I thought. I had a simple fighting strategy that always worked: I push first, they push back but I'm prepared for it so I brace myself for the push back and cock my hand back as they push so that when my leg locks to catch the pushback, I can come forward again and punch with magnificent force. And when they lose balance and stumble back, I can keep the attack going.> That WAS the plan!!

So anyhoo, I pushed dude. He basically stood in place. He pushed back, as I anticipated. I braced myself, I had my leg ready to catch my starting position, I cocked my fist back, then boom I threw a straight punch to his chest. He was a lot taller than me so I didn't even aim for the face. But I figured when I punched him in the chest, he would fall back and then I can take it to him. BUT, my punch didn't seem to phase him. So... immediately I knew this was not a good sign. But, I was still ready knuckle up with the dude.... cuz I've never been a punk. But then he hit me with an okey doke that totally changed the game...

He didn't just punch me or start swinging the way I knew how to fight. Homie literally did bopped me on top of my head. By "bop" I mean... his fist was vertical and his swing came down on my head.... you know like that "Whack-A-Mole" game... like if you play that game with your fist... THAT's how he hit me. And then... using the same hand, after he bopped me, he hook-punched me on my cheek in one fell swoop.

At that point I gave up. I quickly ran a few feet over to grab my bike (which was laying on the ground now) and started to run away with it. Homie started to chase me but one of his friends yelled "Leave that kid alone mane." Homie said "He punched me!". His friend said "You tried to take his bike. He should've punched you. Leave him alone." One of my boys from my neighborhood, who saw the whole thing cuz he was sitting on the bench watching us, yelled to me "Jaye. Put the bike down and go back and fight him. I've seen you fight. Don't run, you aint no punk." I screamed back at my friend to "Shut up!" And when I got enough distance away, I hopped on the bike and rode it home.

*When I think about it now... Homie's friend was the one that saved me. Haha. No way I would have been able to outrun Homie while carrying my back. I'm not sure what I was thinking by even trying to run. BUT... at the end of the day... he may have bopped me on the head, he may have punched me in the jaw... but he DID NOT steal my bike!!

**Btw... We got cool after that. The next time I saw him at the ball court, he said I had heart and picked me on his team. We had a cordial relationship from then on.

Confession Friday (Broken Glass)

#ConfessionFriday

One day... my sister and I threw all the glassware from the kitchen cabinet onto the floor. We had so much fun!

Circa 1988... We were 3 and 4. I have no clue where the idea came from, but Im sure it was ME. Middle of the night... Mom and Big Bro were sleeping peacefully in the back and me & Sis came creeping into the kitchen. I grabbed the old school yellow metal high chair we had, and slid it over to the back of the kitchen where the upper cabinets were. We climbed up the chair and stood up, opened the cabinet doors... and just started tossing all the glasses/cups and plates onto the floor. We were laughin and havin a jolly time!

We probably got thru 15 pieces of stuff before Mom came out. And this is why I Love my Mom so much and also why Im still scared of her...

The kitchen was hardwood and opened to the living room (no counter or anything separating the rooms). Mom came to the edge of the living room, which was carpeted, and paused for a second in shock of what she saw us doing. She originally thought someone was breaking into our apt or had broken in, or somethin like that. But when she saw us in the back of the kitchen on the high chair... me and Sis were stuck with the "Oh crap" face. We panicked and didnt know what to do. So we started to climb down the chair. We didnt think about the fact that there was glass all over the floor and we were in our underclothes. But Mom... being the "protect-my-children first" type of Mother... ran across the kitchen floor to get us. Note, she also didnt have on socks or shoes! She didnt even look at the floor when she came across. She just step-crunched on glass until she got to us, picked us both up and told us not to let go, but then she walked back across a lil more carefully. She sat us down on the living room carpet, checked us to make sure we werent cut, and then she wiped the bottom of her feet like she didnt just walk through a broken glass field. Another note... Mom picked glass from her feet, but there were no deep cuts, not even bloodshed.

A couple things resulted from that whole experience...
1. After making sure we were OK, we got the worst beatings of our lives. Which was weird... because Mom was crying the whole time she was beating us. She kept saying: "Dont you ever scare me like that again!"
Hang on... now that I think about it... I dont remember Sis getting beat! I think Mom just beat me cuz I was the ringleader.

2a. The Faith in me says God was all up in that thing... and that's why Mom walked on glass to save us and none of us were hurt.

2b. The comic in me says what the heck was wrong with my Mom's feet! No blood? No cut? Like, she must have been 25 years late on a pedicure! Geez

3. We werent allowed back in the kitchen for a while. Even today... if I go to Mom's house to eat, she will get the plate and tell me to just sit down!

<That's all to the story. BUT... After writing all this, I realize that MY confession also exposes my Sister. My bad!>

Confession Friday (Toe Touch)

#ConfessionFriday

I almost got beat up by a girl... because I randomly touched her friend's toes.

At a bar. I walked outside for something. I noticed a hot girl on the bar's sidewalk talking on her phone. I waited for her to get off the phone so I can speak... but she never got off. After a while, my intoxicated mind said to walk over and tickle her toes to get her attention (she had on open toe shoes). So... I did. She jumped her foot back and was like "What are you doing!!??" I said "Sorry, you were on the phone and I just wanted to let you know I'd like to talk to you." Then she said "Uh, that's creepy. Dont do that." And then she turned her head and continued her phone convo. I said "Im sorry" one more time and I went back inside the bar and forgot all about her.

15 minutes later, GIRL1 and her friend (GIRL2) walked over to where me and my buddies were. GIRL1 was pretty calm. GIRL2 was high-step marching with the mean mug on her face. Here's the exchange...

GIRL2: Excuse me! Hey... Why are you going around touching people's feet!
[my buddies looked at me like what in the world is goin on?]
ME: Uh... Im not going around touching everyone's feet. I only touched her feet. And I apologized to her outside.

GIRL2: Apology not accepted. Why did you touch her feet in the first place?
ME: Uhhh... <I turned to talk to GIRL1> Hey. I sincerely apologize to you. I shouldnt have done that. I thought you were attractive and I was trying to do something different to get your attention. That's all. Sorry.

GIRL1: Okay no problem.
ME: Thank y---
GIRL2: Um, no NOT OKAY!! You dont do that!! She's married. What's your problem? <angrily points finger at me>

MY BUDDY (to GIRL2): Hey. He just apologized to her. She seems cool about it. You're the only one trippin. Im guessin it's bcuz you're the ugly one and your friend is hot and no one wants to touch your feet.
GIRL2: I know my friend is hot. And excuse me but I am very confident in myself. I dont have to look good to you... there are plenty of men who want me, OKAY! But your little friend here <points to me> needs to know better than to touch strangers.

ME: You're right. And Im sorry. Idk what else you want me to do or say.
GIRL2: Uggh. <grabs GIRL1 and storms off>

[end of story]

(1) It amazed me that GIRL2 really tried to defend being called ugly by my buddy. As mad as she seemed, I would have expected her to slap him in the face. And I wouldnt have been mad at her for doing that... cuz as funny as it was, he shouldnt have said that.

(2) #FunFact: The girls were White. And my friends were White.

(3) I absolutely recognize and acknowledge that I was totally wrong for randomly tickling a stranger girl's toes. I cannot justify it with any reasonable explanation. I do not think that what I did was OKAY.

(4) I still have no idea what GIRL2 wanted me to do or say,... especially since GIRL1 seemed more casual about the situation and seemed to have accepted my apology.

Confession Friday (Welfare)

#ConfessionFriday

In the 4th grade, I found out we were on welfare by getting low-key clowned on.

In the lunch line...

BOY: Dag I ont have enough for chocolate milk.

ME: Huh? It's free.

BOY: Not for me. I have to pay for it.

ME: What? You shouldnt. When you started going here, they were supposed to give you a code. My code is JT5 and I just tell the lady my code, and that's it.

BOY: That's because your family is poor.

ME: What?

BOY: My parents told me that I have to pay for lunch bcuz they have jobs. But students who dont pay for lunch... it's bcuz their parents dont work.

At that age in my life, those words would easily have been fighting words. But I was genuinely so intrigued by this new information, I was in shock and thoughts/questions started runnin all over my head. When I got home, I told Mom what the boy said. Then she explained to me what Welfare was, why my lunch was free, and she revealed to me that everyone didnt get Food Stamps. I was like "Whaaaa??"

*Btw.. I hate kids.

Confession Friday (Spank Stranger)

#ConfessionFriday

I once spanked a stranger's kid.

It happened in a Food Lion. I was ~18 years old. My siblings are 11 and 12 years younger than me, so I was used to disciplining/spanking children. I was standing in an aisle, reading a magazine. This lone 5 year-old boy walked up, looked at the cover of what I was reading, and asked "Hey, can I see that?" I looked around at all the other magazines on the shelf (which included copies of the same magazine I was reading), and then I looked back at the kid and I said, "Sure. As soon as I'm finished with it, I'll give it to you."

The boy then snatched the magazine out of my hands and started to flip through the pages. BUT... before he could get to page two, the Adult/Older Brother in me kicked in. And I quickly slapped the crap out of his hand, making him drop the magazine. And I told him, "You don't snatch things away from adults" with a stern facial expression and pointing my finger at him. Then I picked up the magazine all nice and calm-like. The kid busted out crying and ran away.

A little later when I left the magazine aisle, I saw the boy with his Mom. As I walked past, the boy grabbed his Mama's hand and said "That's him." and pointed at me. Mom looked at me and then back at the kid and she said to him, "That's prolly what you get. You was prolly doing something wrong in the first place. Next time, don't leave my sight." After I walked past them, I turned around and looked back at the boy and stuck my tongue out at him. He looked so hurt. Hahaha, it was beautiful! LOL

JAYE: 1
STRANGER KID: 0

**P.S.: I really liked that the Mom didnt go off on me or say anything to me. Because... I did fear a confrontation for a split second when I saw them. Because she looked like -- how do I say this... ummm -- the type of person who would open a bag of chips in the store, eat them, and then stuff the bag behind other chips on the shelf and leave the store without paying for them. Does that make sense? She looked like she was ready to fight anyone at anytime. Had she said something to me, I was definitely gonna hold my ground and explain why I spanked him without apologizing. But the fact that she didnt say anything to me was a nice relief

Confession Friday (Girl Fight)

#ConfessionFriday

One time, I got into a physical fight with a female. Im ashamed that I put my hands on her, and probably more ashamed that I won the fight. Here's the story...

Ok... sooo... 4th grade. 9 years old. I was a small boy. This girl in my class was bigger than me, stronger than me, and she was mean, and hung around the "bad crew". However, some of the ppl in the "bad crew" even teased her. So one day in class... while the teacher stepped out... I thought it would be fun to tease her also by making fun of her head and hair (same things the others teased her about). She didnt like it (rightfully so) and started yelling at me and threatening to whip my butt.

Me... not being scared of a fight... I jumped up and walked over to her... screaming back at her asking why she was so mad at me for sayin those things when the other ppl talk trash and she never said anything to them. She got up from her desk and stood right in front me, looking down at me, still shouting that she will mess me up.

I really didnt wanna fight her, so when she got that close in my face and spoke to me, I covered my mouth and nose and said out loud "Eww your breath stink!"... and I turned around to walk away. Everyone in the class busted out laughin.

So she grabbed my arm, spun me back around to face her, and then she took a swing. At that point, I think it was purely reflex that I dodged her jab and then punched her one time in the face. BUT, I cant explain why I punched her two more times after that.

As she stumbled backward, I backed up maybe 10 steps cuz I didnt wanna fight anymore. She picked up a chair, and raised it above her head. I mean.. two arms straight up with the chair over her head. It was one of those metal chairs, not the plastic ones. This was gonna sting! I thought she was gonna charge at me with the chair and it was gonna be over for me. Lo and behold... she threw it! Im guessing with all her anger and emotion, it threw off her aim and the chair flew wide left. I was temporarily relieved.

But... it wasnt over for this 9-year-old super girl. She then picked up a whole desk over her head. Again, Im talkin her two arms were straight up with a whole daggone desk over her head. Also again, not one of those skimpy desks with the flat top that u lay books on. I mean one of those thick solid wooden desks with the open front. As she was picking up the desk, like a million books fell out... dictionaries, encyclopedias, an earth science book.... SHE WAS STRONG! At that point, I was petrified. I started apologizing and beggin her not to hit me with that desk. Because I knew that she learned her lesson from missing with the chair... that she wasnt gonna throw it this time and instead she was gonna walk over and slam it on me. However, I guess she remained confident in her aim, cuz she also threw the desk. Luckily, I was able to duck it, but I was equally as amazed as I was terrified that she could launch that heavy desk way over to where I was.

Before anything else could happen, the teacher had walked while she was in the act of throwing the desk and the teacher grabbed her and walked her out of class.

After writing out this whole story, which forced me to relive that moment... Idk that I actually won that fight. I mean, I did hit her a few times and she didnt strike me once. But when I saw her power and strength, I was scared out of my mind and pleading with her not to hurt me. All the students saw my fear, so they probably gave her the W just for her fearlessness and my scaredness. And plus, any man/boy putting his hands on a woman/girl automatically loses (esp if he started it). So... I guess I got a double L.

*Me and the girl later made up and we got along okay for the rest of our days*

Confession Friday (Lungs)

#ConfessionFriday
I thought we had like 6 lungs til I was 16.

Idk what I missed in school all those years. But I remember being in the 10th grade, talking to a close friend of mine on the phone. The funny thing was... I was trying to make fun of his health issues.

ME: "Dude u've been in an out of the hospital for the last few years. U gonna mess around and have ALL your lungs collapse if u try to play basketball."
MIKE: "What do u mean 'ALL' my lungs?"

ME: "Not just 1 or 2 lungs... but all of them." <then I started laughing cuz I thought I was clever>
MIKE: "Jaye, you're not serious are you? You do know how many lungs we have right?"

ME: "Uhh... 4, 5, 6. Idk. A lot."
MIKE: <Silent for about 10 seconds. Then the loudest, longest laugh possible> "Jaye!! How u gon crack on me and say some crap like that. That's the dumbest thing Ive heard in my life! How did you get into Community (Richmond Community High School)?! Bruh... we have 2 lungs. TWO! A Left Lung and a Right Lung. That's it!"
ME: <silent for about 10 seconds myself, cuz I was so embarrassed. Then I busted out laughing. But I had nothing else to say.>

Jaye: 0
Mike: 1

#RIPMikeyD